Dating (or NOT) After 40

Where to begin??? I hesitate to even bring up this topic because it's been so long since I've been on a date. Kind of embarrassing really! I've tried the dating websites & no matter what they claim....all guys are looking for young, thin & beautiful (on the outside)! I don't do bars & while church would be a great place to meet someone......it's not happening!

I try to keep believing that there is someone out there for me & desperately hoping my "one" is not my ex! Or any of the others I left by the wayside when I still had guys calling.

How hard is it to find a guy with the following qualities: Funny, crazy about me, crazy about my family (that includes the dogs & ex mother in law), Christian, has a job, can pay his own bills, not disgustingly ugly, not on drugs......I think that's it! I don't think it's asking too much!

I really have a lot to offer......that is not a fat joke! I have a job (for now), a house, sense of humor, good personality (read fat), somewhat attractive, drug free (besides what is prescribed by a doctor).......let's see what else.....hmmmm.....5 dogs, 1 cat, a teenage son still trying to find his direction, a mother (living with me) that wants to tell everyone what their direction should be, a close relationship with my ex's mom (LOVE her).....what's not to love, like, date???

I'm learning to be happy alone but much as I love myself (did I mention I am now tan & have really cute shoes), it does get old sometimes. I just don't want to be really old & alone. Good thing I have awesome friends, great kids & wonderful family! Notice I am trying not to be depressing.....how am I doing??? Also, I added the picture where I look NOT THAT FAT!!!

Who Is This Woman That Raised Me?

She's my mother. My adoptive mother but my mother all the same.

I think there are some studies somewhere about nurture vs. nature. I am starting to believe that some one's genes & where they come from biologically is more important than how they were raised.

Here's my point: Last week K2 called me on my way home from work. He had just arrived home & saw remnants of a KFC box & the door between the kitchen & garage open. I freaked out! I knew the night before I had 5 chicken wings & put the trash in the garage trash can. The dogs (5 of mine & 2 that I'm babysitting) had to have gotten to the chicken bones! Being the crazy dog lady (maybe I should change the name of my blog) I knew that could be deadly! I called my mother who was also home (in her room as usual) & asked her about leaving that door open. The first words out of her mouth were not "Oh no! What should we do?" but instead they were "I can't pay for that!" Huh? What? That's not what I asked! I hung up & called the vet to see what we could do short of bringing all 7 in for Xrays. Basically, it was watch them all closely & see who has diarrhea or is throwing up. Bring only the ones showing symptoms in.

The next evening K2 & I tried talking to her again. I told her it could have happened to anyone but wanted to know why she had responded the way she had. She just didn't get it. Here's what she said, "If something happened to your friend's dogs while you were watching them, you would go into debt to make it right." Of course I would! But she said it as if there was something wrong with that! How in the world did this woman raise me???

I would say I was brought up to believe if you damaged something belonging to someone else, you fix it, but I can't. I can say I believe it because that's just me! It's just hard for me to understand how a mother & daughter (biological or otherwise) can be so different!

Back to the dogs.....they are all OK. Only Gabby got sick but after a vet visit, she's OK too.

I had a major meltdown on the phone with my friend JS afterwards. She talked me down & everything is back to normal. I guess I just have to agree to disagree with my mom & keep loving her.

You've Got Questions, I've Got Answers

I've been away for a while. Reasons include writer's block, stuff going on I can't talk about & nothing going on.

Some of my old friends I've been catching up with on Facebook have been asking some questions so I thought I would address them. Some serious, some funny (I hope) but it should be informative.

Me....not drinking??? Yes it's true I quit drinking a few years ago. I may have a beer or glass of wine every now & then but for all intents & purposes I am a non-drinker. And the reason is........I wanted to set a good example for my kids. My youngest son K2 got in some trouble (with the law) & I couldn't continue to go to happy hours & come home drunk but expect him to be the perfect upstanding citizen. I never wanted to be the parent where the kids told their friends stories about mom's drunken behavior but unfortunately I had become just that.

Church.....yes, I attend Fellowship Church in Grapevine & it's the best thing I've done. I really wish I hadn't done such a huge disservice to my kids by not being involved in a church when they were growing up. I was so caught up in trying to not be like my parents that I overcompensated.

My weight....yes, I've gained some weight. It sucks! I'm tanning & I'm buying really cute shoes! So I'm half way there!

The glasses.....just got them a few months ago & needed them for a long time before that. It's official.....I am old!

Dog lover extreme....yes, I have 5. Please see previous posts!

House.......I bought one in Irving 3 years ago. That's why I can have 5 dogs!

And last but not least.....yes, my mom is still crazy! And now she lives with me! Imagine.........scary, huh?

Oh yeah & the picture. It's me & K1's girlfriend J. Isn't she pretty? Don't I look not that fat? That's the reason I posted it. Some people might have missed it on Facebook and I look not that fat!

How I Became the Crazy Dog Lady (the rest of the story)

So here I am just living life & I finally decide to buy a house. Well, what I mean is I finally can buy a house (this means I got an inheritance...no way I could save money). Anyway, when you live in a house there are no more pet deposits (still vet bills though).

One Sunday on the way to church, there are people on the side of the road selling puppies. They are little balls of white fluff & my friend Pat (you remember Pat) is looking for another Maltese. We decide to stop on the way home from church (seriously, I was checking it out for Pat). They weren't Maltese puppies but something else I can't remember. They had a mama dog in the truck they wanted to sell as well. Her name was Gabby (#3) & she's a mini wire haired Dachshund. OK so yeah.....I bought her. I get her home & find out she potties in her crate. Dogs aren't supposed to do that....right? The vet says she was probably left in a crate so long with the other people, she had no choice. We're going on 3 years & she is still not totally potty trained. Thank goodness there is no carpet in my house!

Lucy (#4) really wasn't my fault! K2 found her in our neighborhood. Just wandering around.....wet & hungry! What was I going to do? Send her away? She was such a tiny chihuahua & seemed so defenseless! Who knew that when we took her to the vet to see if she was micro-chipped (she wasn't), she would vomit like the exorcist??? It was horrible! I have never had a dog get motion sickness like that! Every time we go to the vet or out of town, I have to give her medicine 2 hours before we leave. She's no longer scrawny (10 lbs now) & she's really cute.

I started hanging out with my friend JS from church. The more we got to know each other, I found out she had a dog (that's 1 dog) too. She brought him over for a play date (really I swear I had no ulterior motives) & Spot (that's his name) (#5) got along great with my 4 dogs. JS indicated that he pooped in the house but he didn't do it at my house. I loved him right away! He is always so happy & playful! I don't know if that's just him or all Jack Russell Terriers are like that. I emailed JS the next week & told her "I love Spot!" She said OK, you can have him......what???? Huh....sure???

So that's how I became the crazy dog lady....totally understandable......right???

How I Became the Crazy Dog Lady

I know this question has been haunting everyone....right?

I really hadn't wanted any pets for a while. In fact, my mother had abandoned a precious, tiny Maltese with me & I let my friend Pat have her. I just wasn't ready for more responsibility & a pet deposit.

A couple of years later, I was feeling the baby fever......totally inexplicable really....my youngest child was in junior high & who in their right mind would want more after experiencing junior high as a parent? Remember Pat (she figures prominently in this tale)??? Her son & his girlfriend had a puppy given to them & being in a 3rd floor apartment was not conducive to potty training. They brought over this adorable little black & white puppy (Toy Fox Terrier). She was just precious! They thought she could possibly be deaf but I didn't care. This was the baby I wanted! Turns out she was deaf so me changing her name from Maddie to Bella made no difference to her. This also means since she can't hear....she barks a lot! She also doesn't whine....she screams! We've worked through vet visits, pet deposits, walking in the rain & of course, potty training (turns out the be the best potty trained dog I have). She is now going on 6 years old & I am still crazy about the one that started it all!

Almost exactly a year later after much turmoil in my life with kids & ex moving in & out & moving to a 1 bedroom apartment with just me & Bella....I felt the need to share my love some more. The kids didn't want to live with me....that's OK....I'm getting another dog!

My friend Pat & I went to some shelters & believe it or not did not come home with a dog. We finally went to the Humane Society to check things out. We looked at the few small dogs they had & I got 1 scrawny brown dog out of her cage. Pat assumed it was like before & said to come on. Then I said "I love her!" Turns out Sophie is 1 year younger than Bella. I took her home & my mom came over & I convinced her to drive me, Bella & Sophie over to pick up K2 from his dad's. Sophie cried almost the whole way. She still gets a little nervous in the car. Sophie has turned out to be the sweetest dog ever! Everyone (including dogs) LOVES her! I'm not sure what kind of dog she is....could be dachshund & whippet???

So far it's still understandable why I have these 2 dogs...right???

More to come on the other 3 but the Survivor finale is on & it's time to go.

Mama. Living. With. Me

Well, Mother's Day has come & gone.....flowers were sent & received (thanks K1).....days were spent in bed (horrendous headache)....tears were shed. It has made me think about when my mother came to live with me.

I was just coming off of juggling Mama being in the hospital in another state, running out of PTO days at work & a business trip looming around the corner. The plan was for her to stay with me after getting released from the hospital. My aunt brought her over & we got her set up in my sweet little guest room. Several days later I left for my trip.

I was going up north to teach co-workers how to do something they didn't want to do! Boy, was that fun! My second night in the hotel, I call home to check on everyone & Mama tells me she loves staying at my house, the guest room is so pleasant, she's going to keep on staying, she loves the house..........BRAKES ON!!! She's staying???

What could I say but OK......she prattles on for a while & we hang up. I am hyperventilating......thinking about what all of this involves.....she has a ton of stuff!

She moved in & initially it was like having another teenager in the house. She is on the phone all the time, she's out 'til all hours & her room is a disaster (no more precious little guest room). She leaves a trail of messiness behind her & I can't get on to her like I do K2 since she's not technically my child.

It was a good thing she did move in because a few months later The Big One happened (heart attack that is)......no matter that I was out of town & Sue (my ex-mother in law) had to call the ambulance. She said they had a really hard time getting the gurney close enough to lift her on it because there is no clear path in her room. She could have died while they were trying to get to her but this info is lost on her.

She is all better now but it actually slowed her down a bit so she has time to tell me things she would like me to talk to K2 about. No matter that his room is right next to hers & it would be easier for her to tell him directly.

We are all adjusting. I am medicated & it's working for now. She truly can't live alone & being an only child (for the record, I begged for siblings), it falls to me. I sure don't want her in nursing home.

Now for the fun stuff....I am going to Jen Lancaster's book signing later......she is hilarious......look into it!

Dream Job Part 3

I've been gone for over a week & no one calls, emails, facebooks to see if I'm OK???

Show me some love people!

The last thing I want to say about my dream job is this: Best Friends Animal Sanctuary is a wonderful place! I would looooove to work there! I would love for everyone to include them as one of the charities you contribute to! And here's why....they are truly a no kill animal shelter! They do not put animals who are aggressive or sick down just for that reason! If a dog can't be adopted out because it's aggressive (& can't be rehabilitated), it just gets to live it's life out at the sanctuary! Any sick animals are treated & only euthanized if there is nothing that can be done to help & they will only be in pain.

Jumping off soapbox....back to me (favorite subject)....I've had a rather busy week. It all started off with my air conditioner not working. I live in TX (it's HOT here) & anyone who knows me knows that with the slightest bit of movement, I sweat like pig! It's not pretty!

Must! Have! Air!

All I can think is how do people afford getting a new air conditioner? What if I had been laid off a couple of months ago like my friend??? It cost me $7,000!!! Luckily there was a credit card I hadn't gotten my grubby shopping hands on yet & I could charge it! I now have a huge, top of the line air conditioner that works great! I am still happy because I haven't had to make a payment on that card yet!

The rest of the week I have been babysitting my friends 2 dogs (Bandit & Watson). I have 5 of my own & thought.....pffft.....what's 2 more??? A lot more apparently but they are settling in......of course they are since she picks them up tomorrow. I would post pictures but neither of them will be still long enough. They are both so cute but this shows me (if I didn't know already)....Can't! Have! More! Dogs!

I Was Duped!

I'm angry so anyone who is dying for Part 3 of Dream Job will just have to wait!
I went with a couple of friends to see the movie Earth yesterday. It's rated G so I thought it would be all sweetness & light....baby animals & their parents.....save the earth....blah blah blah.....feel good.....NOT!
If you are planning to see it & don't want it ruined then STOP! here.
This rated G movie showed wolves attacking a baby caribou, a cheetah attacking some other kind of baby animal, lions attacking an elephant & a polar bear die of starvation! I (age 44) covered my eyes at most of this violence. I know about the wild & circle of life blah blah blah but come on....I don't want to see it on the big screen. I admit I have watched some violent movies but they are rated R & I have an idea of what I'm getting. If I had brought young children.....I would have left! Oh yeah I forgot about the great white shark jumping out of the water with a seal (or what was left of it) in it's mouth!
I AM TRAUMATIZED!!!

Dream Job Part 2

Here we go with Part 2.....Children's reactions!

Let me set the scene.....I was visiting ex-mother-in-law & K1 in the Houston area. It was Thanksgiving weekend & I had just met K1's girlfriend's parents. Super awesome people who have raised such a wonderful daughter (J) that I want her for my own!

Back to the story.....we were all at dinner, drinking wine (which I am so not used to) & I proceeded to tell J's dad what I really wanted to do with my life. I'm sure after several glasses of wine, my voice was raised above the usual level & K1 heard what I was saying...He starts sputtering & proceeds to ask me to explain myself. When I tell everyone at the table of my plan, he raises his voice to say "Mom, you can't leave your grandchildren!" I'm thinking what the hell is he not telling me......I have no grandchildren (I am not old enough, right?)....to which he replies "But you will & are you trying to tell me you love DOGS more than me & my (non-existent) children?" Well, it would be much funnier if it escalated into a drunken brawl but we're not that exciting. He has still not come around to the idea even though I remind him that he has moved away from me no less than 6 times so now it is my turn....in 3 years that is.

K2's reaction....."I don't have to go do I?"

More to come in Part 3!

Dream Job Part 1

I'm sure we all have an idea of a dream job....maybe it's being paid for doing nothing or that island job in Australia. Mine is picking up poo......let me explain. My dream job is to work at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary (see Dogtown on National Geographic Channel) even if I have to pick up poo!

Let's start at the beginning. When I was a little girl I always wanted to be a mom when I grew up. I had no idea I would be doing that on my own! Instead of being a stay at home mom like I wanted, I had to get a paying job. I started working for a large corporation 22 years ago. I can't complain.....I still have a job (for now), I have a boss I absolutely love, I like the people I work with.....I'm just not crazy about the day to day tasks. I know I'm being picky but at some point don't we get to do something we love???

When Mother moved in (while I was on a business trip...another story), I realized I needed to be medicated. After taking my anti-depressants for a couple of months, something in me changed. It wasn't just that I wasn't depressed anymore.....I started thinking about the future & making plans.

My plan is to stay at my current job until I reach my 25th anniversary (or I get laid off). The next step is to apply at Best Friends (I'm sure they'll hire me...LOL) & when I get the job there, move to Utah with my pack of dogs, 1 cat, 1 mother & 1 mother-in-law.

I'm sure I would be a perfect fit with all my experience with my own animals! HA! I am going to be volunteering at a shelter in the meantime....maybe I'll learn something!

Children's reactions to my announcement coming in Part 2! And yes I can see my color needs to be done in that picture!

Best.Mom.Ever!

Right now I am watching Cesar Milan teach a dog not to eat poop.......ewwwww!
OK. That's out of the way. I was thinking maybe I should explain the whole best mom ever thing. I've actually been told once this was borderline child abuse but here's the history. I have 2 sons which I raised by myself (there was a "little" help from the grandparents) so I wanted them to truly appreciate me & all the sacrifices I've had to make (can you force anyone to appreciate?). I don't think it's asking too much....do you? Well, anytime I did something that really made them happy....buying a special toy, going to McDonald's when I had a headache, etc.....I would say "What am I?" & flip my hair over my shoulder. They would be required to say Best. Mom. Ever! Now they have to say it when I give them money when they're broke. I figure if they say it enough, they will come to believe it plus I need to get that positive reinforcement wherever I can. Even if it's manufactured! Anyway, I expect that phrase on my tombstone! Hear that boys?
I do have to say that I have the Best. Sons. Ever!!!
Are they perfect.....NOOOOO
But I love them & they love me...what more could a mom want?
I'm feeling especially generous since my 19 year old (K2) just spent some time with me on a Friday night. He even went out in public with me....LOL

Wow

OK. Here goes....This is my first attempt at blogging. It seemed so much easier when I was thinking about it. I had so many ideas but now here I sit & where did they go???

Well, about me....I am a 44 year old single mom (can I still say that when my "children" are 19 & 21?) with 5 dogs, 1 cat, a mother that lives with me & an ex-mother in law who I am still close to.

I'm kind of fat so I have started working out....yuck! I am only doing because all my numbers are high....weight, cholesterol, sugar & blood pressure....I could drop dead any minute! Even though I whine & complain about my life, I'm just not quite ready to go just yet. Besides, who would take care all of my animals? Did you see those faces? But....people tend to feel differently if one pees on your carpet.

Anyway, my trainer.....of course he is young enough to be my son....has absolutely no mercy! All my carrying on makes no difference to him. He just keeps counting! Why is it so hard to lose weight after 40....who am I kidding...I've never been able to drop pounds at will!

This being my very first attempt at blogging...I may have mentioned that already....I hope to become way more interesting as I post more!